Ordinary Chronicle: August 18th

Hollywood Coming to Ordinary?

    There's a new movie being filmed in Ordinary, and the director is casting local

talent not just as extras, but in the starring roles. The movie is said to be a 

horror/noir mixture with the heroic lead going against the dire villain. Melissa 

Banchory, a visiting actress from Scotland who auditioned for a part was quoted as 

saying "It feels like the kindae thing that'd be a straight to video thing, mutants 

chasin' some lassie through town and some kindae murderer with a noir detective. Not 

my cup of tea. I dinnae really like horror stuff." Said the actress, who was 

subsequently turned down for the part.

    Another would be actress, and local business owner Gabriela Santos was quoted as

saying "I auditioned for it. They thought I was a little too A-list for their C-list 

film. I'll get a call back though, I'm sure."

    The film will be directed by a Mr. Swann, and will be filmed here in Ordinary.

Anyone with more information on the matter should seek out Jack Masters at the 

Ordinary Chronicle.

Crab Ecology Disaster!

    A local incident involing invasive sea life on a rampage against local endangered

wildlife was cut short thanks to the timely intervention of the Academy ecology 

department. The invasive species were caught and dealt with by a hands on group of 

civic minded students eager to protect our delicate ecological balance.

*In the weird version of this article are several pictures of students battling

fireball throwing giant crabs as they struggle to save a wooly mammoth. The Ordinary 

version of the paper is missing these photographs however.*

Gay Pride is Strong in the Town of Ordinary!

     Ms. Savannah Cooper was caught in salacious discussion with a close friend of hers

about a budding new GAY relationship in our tiny little Ordinary town. That's right, 

local stripper Nathan Cuningham and student and part time landscaper John Harris were 

said to be an item!

    Mr. Harris was stunned when reached for comment, expressing that until he met Nathan

he had been totally straight. 

    Mr. Cunningham was approached for comment, but did not respond. Are they trying to

keep things on the downlow? Show your support for their budding pride, and let them 

know that it's A-Okay to be Gay!